Planet Squorch
October 04, 2005
dooce posted a photo:
October 04, 2005 02:54 AM
dooce posted a photo:
October 04, 2005 02:54 AM
dooce posted a photo:
October 04, 2005 02:54 AM
dooce posted a photo:
October 04, 2005 02:54 AM
dooce posted a photo:
October 04, 2005 02:54 AM
October 03, 2005
scottydont posted a photo:
October 03, 2005 11:57 PM
"We haven't played a meaningful game in 3 months! Of course we can turn it on for the playoffs!"
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>In a related story, I like the Padres' chances here.
by B-Don at October 03, 2005 08:53 PM
Homer and Lisa read "US of A TODAY" over breakfast.
Homer: Here's good news! According to this eye-catching article, SAT scores are declining at a slower rate!
Lisa: Dad, I think this paper is a flimsy hodgepodge of pie graphs,factoids and Larry King.
Homer: Hey, this is the only paper in America that's not afraid to tell the truth, that everything is just fine.
Tags: contest news factoids paint
October 03, 2005 08:07 PM
scottydont posted a photo:
October 03, 2005 07:41 PM
scottydont posted a photo:
October 03, 2005 07:40 PM
October 03, 2005 05:10 PM
October 03, 2005 12:00 PM
October 03, 2005 12:00 PM
October 03, 2005 09:36 AM
October 02, 2005
We've got our first Carnell Williams injury of the year. A hammy. They tend to linger. Michael Vick also down with a sprained knee. And we all saw what happened when Rodney Harrison and Matt Light went down for the year in New England coupled with Brodie Croyle stealing Tom Brady's stats. Yikes.
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Totally sweet riff of the day: "Nervous Gibbering Wreck" by Gorerotted.
by B-Don at October 02, 2005 11:37 PM
South Carolina and Kentucky should be forced to play each other to stay in the SEC for next year. Auburn rolls up about 4 miles of offense and gives Darko Milicic some playing time in their 1,287-7 win. Steve Spurrier had that look on his face that some coaches get when they realize that their team hopelessly sucks. The best thing from this game was Brewer and I deciding that Brad Lester's mom should have named him Maurice. If you don't get the joke, just think about it for a sec.
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USC survives a scare from Arizona State. Imagine if they played a good team from an actual Division I-A conference.
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>After Brodie Croyle does his best Tom Brady impression with a sick 14-for-17 afternoon, Tyrone Prothro does his best Jason Kendall impression. 'Bama makes UF as well as people in charge of 'SEC Preview' pubs look stupid, 31-3. The "number 5" team in the nation gets to see the human victory cigar, John Parker Wilson, in the 4th quarter.
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>(This was only one of the two games I actually watched Saturday, but, seriously, if Urban Meyer's spread option crap is the offense of the 21st century, then I guess the neutral zone trap will be the defense of the 21st century. Just goes to show you what happens when you get down by a quick, and I mean QUICK, 14 points with that option stuff. You're screwed. And as much as I hate saying it, Brodie Croyle is probably going to start getting some Heisman pub at some point. He'll need an even bigger helmet after that. And around 7 p.m. that night, I got a text message from Isaiah Thomas using Harry's phone saying that he'd rather have Brandon Cox over Brodie Croyle. In a related story, I'm prepared for a healthy dose of Trevor Ariza and Maurice Taylor this season.)
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Michigan State prepares for their annual downward spiral after being bedazzled by Michigan in OT. Seriously, it's like a yearly thing.
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Tennessee unimpressive for 5th straight week with a 27-10 win at home over Ole Miss, sure to climb in polls.
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Our Mother (ND) goes nuts on Purdue. Bill Belichick misses the Weis-man even more.
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FSU couldn't lose to Syracuse if they tried to. And they actually abandoned the running game. So I guess they sort of tried to.
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>After seeing Va. Tech on TV for like the 14th straight week, I'm confident when I say they're the best college team I've seen so far.
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>Don't look now, but Alabama, Penn. State, and Nebraska are a combined 14-0 heading into October. What is this? 1978 or something?
by B-Don at October 02, 2005 11:29 PM
sammy baby posted a photo:
I mean, a litre. It's only the size of a couple of beers, right?
And yet somehow, it seems much larger.
October 02, 2005 08:47 PM
Whew. This Friday, with the (massive) help of friends and loved ones, Catherine and I moved out of my old bachelor apartment into a faaabulous new place in scenic Batavia. It's a house that's been converted into two apartments -- one on either side, each with an upstairs and a downstairs -- and I love it dearly.
We're still buried in boxes, we have a daring bring-the-bed-through-a-window project slated for 1PM today, and I'm only online because someone left a wifi network unsecured a few houses away... but oh, what a wonderful place. Old, well-established trees, well-maintained historic houses... I'll have to post pictures soon.
In other news, we took a break from unpacking to see Flight Plan last night. I think the lesson to be learned is this: If you are a criminal, and your plan involves Jodie Foster and her daughter in any way, just go home. Give up. Start work on a new and better plan, because the game is over. Sorry! Panic Room? Flight Plan? Two times makes a pattern. That said, while I was able to find holes in the plot after the fact, the movie really was emotionally gut-wrenching. Good flick.
Also... I realy need to figure out what box I packed all my pants in.
Tags: movies moving jodiefoster
October 02, 2005 03:09 PM
October 02, 2005 07:35 AM
Many conversations took place Friday night, but here's the main idea from the most interesting one. How many five year-olds could you beat up at one time?
by B-Don at October 02, 2005 03:14 AM
hilker posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:26 AM
hilker posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:23 AM
hilker posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:22 AM
the_big_e posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:11 AM
the_big_e posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:11 AM
the_big_e posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:11 AM
the_big_e posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:11 AM
the_big_e posted a photo:
October 02, 2005 02:11 AM
October 01, 2005
sammy baby posted a photo:
Maya takes a break from playing with Poley.
October 01, 2005 07:49 PM
Aurora Joy posted a photo:
October 01, 2005 03:16 PM
Aurora Joy posted a photo:
October 01, 2005 03:16 PM
October 01, 2005 10:03 AM
October 01, 2005 09:50 AM
September 30, 2005
squorch posted a photo:
September 30, 2005 11:03 PM
squorch posted a photo:
September 30, 2005 11:03 PM
squorch posted a photo:
September 30, 2005 11:03 PM
squorch posted a photo:
September 30, 2005 11:02 PM
September 30, 2005 12:00 PM
September 29, 2005
September 29, 2005 09:00 PM
September 29, 2005 07:00 AM
September 28, 2005
September 28, 2005 07:52 PM
September 28, 2005 04:59 PM
NFL bye weeks started this week. Let's see who got screwed.
The results of the games:
Tags: plastic nfl fantasy football
September 28, 2005 02:34 PM
Hockey is in all respects superior to all the other sports, bar none. In fact, it has been said that hockey is better than sex, better even than Trident chewing gum.
But the sad fact is that few of us will ever play the game at a high level. We lack skating ability, or puck sense, or Canadian-ness, or the willingness to surrender bicuspids to the gods of camaraderie and sweat. The same is true for sex and gum, but unlike those two great North American pastimes, in which one's only choice is actual participation, for good or ill, hockey fans can get closer to the game (and perhaps further away from their friends and family) via the artifice of Fantasy Hockey. You can experience the stress (actual, real stress) of managing an NHL hockey team while reaping none of the rewards. And best of all, it's absolutely free.
Tags: hockey gum sex bicuspids
September 28, 2005 01:22 PM
>I recently got to see one of the most underrated and best action flicks ever made,
The Transporter<i>. I noticed there was a trailer for The Transporter 2 before a movie this summer, and I had to ask the question, "Wait there was a Transporter 1?" Well I saw a bit of it on FX the other night and figured I needed to run and pick up the DVD. Here's why it's one of the best pure action flicks I've ever seen:
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- Everyone has some sort of accent. What's not cool about that?<li>
- There is a never-ending supply of random goons for Frank to fight. It's like Ninja Gaiden on the NES. They just randomly appear coming out of doorways and from behind things.
- It includes a thinly-laid plot and countless improbable action sequences. Of course you can parachute down on top of a transfer truck!
- Car chase.
- Guns. Lots of guns.
- There isn't a single actor in the movie that I've seen before in anything else. These movies always seem to be fantastic.
- Goofy soundtrack of sweet techno beats that sound as if they were manufactured by a Dell PC and Tuareg Software.
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<li> - There are plenty of gratuitous explosions.
- More cheese than a Taco Bell quesadilla. This flick has more failed attempts at one-liners and moments that make you say "PSH!" than any other movie I can remember seeing.
So the point is, as always, if this sounds like your cup of tea, this movie is definitely worth checking out. Laugh if you want, but I bet you'll like it, especially if you're male. Remember. That's The Transporter, starring random bald guy with an accent and Asian-looking chick.
by B-Don at September 28, 2005 02:07 AM
September 27, 2005
EA Sports. It's in the game. Right. Well,
NBA Live 06 is incredible. The graphics are amazing. The gameplay is much improved from last years game. I only have two complaints:
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- Marv Albert and Steve Kerr sound as interested as Joey Porter at a charity auction. They never make jokes about biting people on the back or anything else.<li>
- You can't get them to do Spurs games in 9 different languages.
However, on a funny note, I was playing as the Knicks and shot a 3 with Quentin Richardson, which enticed Albert to say, "Richardson fires one up!" I thought that was funny. After all, it is the NBA. I love this game! It's FAAAAAN-tastic!
by B-Don at September 27, 2005 10:42 PM
September 27, 2005 05:27 PM
September 27, 2005 05:00 AM
Question of the day on ESPN.com: Which wide reciever has the most entertaining touchdown celebrations? Choices: T.O., Chad Johnson, Joe Horn, and Randy Moss. Does this make anyone else want to puke in their soup?
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>Barry Sanders was a much better football player and an infinitely better man than all these jerks. He would score and hand the ball to the officials. If it was a big touchdown, he might give someone a five. Meanwhile, you've got these four pieces making a fool out of themselves when they put up a six-spot on the Cardinals in a blowout.
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>So here's my "question of the day." Who celebrates a touchdown and doesn't want to make you beat the crap out of them, regardless of who you root for? Here's the choices: Marvin Harrison, Troy Brown, Tory Holt, Eric Moulds, or Drew Bennett. There's some real men.
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>They might give a high-five or two, but only if it's appropriate. Get it?
by B-Don at September 27, 2005 02:11 AM
CBS News correspondent Gloria Borger reports that Michael Brown, who recently resigned as the head of the FEMA, has been rehired by the agency as a consultant to evaluate it's response following Hurricane Katrina.
I don't think anything else need be said. Is it Dilbert? Is it The Daily Show? Is it The Onion? I just can't decide.
EDIT: More articles have been popping up. Apparently he's on board, with full pay, until sometime in October. Until then, he'll be helping Congress evaluate the Katrina failures. Apparently, he's said he "should have asked the military for help sooner." Seems to me that a more serious problem was old-fashioned ignorance of the magnitude of the disaster while it was happening.
Is 'If only the military had been there sooner' going to be the new talking point to hammer from every angle? We'll see.
Tags: stupidity irony katrina
September 27, 2005 01:04 AM
That zombie analogy for baseball teams got my mind churning. Of the past few champs, how many of those teams were, what I would classify, "zombies?" Here are the criteria for zombies straight from the Umbrella Corp. Sports Division:
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- They had to look "dead in the water" at some point in the season.<li>
- Some event had to transpire in order for the resurrection of the team to take place.
- Bizarre but noticeable intangibles mount favoring the zombie.
> <li> - Nothing could stop them from winning other than beheading or Claire's bowgun.
Furthermore, does a team's being a zombie necessitate their competitiveness and ultimate success in the playoffs?
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>Last season, the Red Sox, if you'll remember, did appear quite docile until the Varitek/A-Rod cage match that resulted in the revival of the Boston spirits. This motivative incident arguably incited the Red Sox postseason run. There you have it: Zombie Case 1.
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>Two seasons ago, it was the autumn of the mighty Marlins. Again, a Wild Card winner should automatically be considered for zombification since the whole premise of a "wild card" is to allow teams a second chance. They didn't really look too good all season but began to get it together around August, if I remember correctly, when Josh Beckett and a young Dontrelle Willis had a couple of inhuman outings, and they went through the playoffs on what appeared to be pure pitching momentum. So after the infamous Bartman Game and stellar pitching in October, they were the champs. So once again: Zombie Case 2.
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>Many cases could be made with the 1969 Mets probably being the best example of the phenomenon. The 2002 Angels also sort of rose from the dead to win it all, I believe. So what am I getting at? A prediction of course. It's more like a probability lesson. This all points to one thing: The Cardinals will not win the series. They'll fall victim to 2001 Mariners syndrome, the 1998 Yankees being a glaring aberration to that rule.
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>My picks to win it all (if they make it to the dance):
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- Indians<li>
- Astros
- Padres
- Yankees
- Braves
Poke fun if you wish, but don't say I didn't warn you. I can't believe I just wrote all that.
by B-Don at September 27, 2005 12:57 AM
September 26, 2005
Things in Iraq are bad. Things in New Orleans and Texas are bad. There are hot spots, terrorists, and negotiations in progress to determine who'll be holding fissionable material in ten years.
It's easy to forget, though, that only a couple decades ago, the entire planet was poised on the brink of genuine large-scale superpowers-duking-it-out nuclear war. In fact, On September 26th, 1983, one man's instincts and some lucky guesses were literally all that prevented WWIII from kicking off.
Staniaslav Petrov, a Russian Army Colonel at the time, was on watch when the alert sounded, indicating that American nuclear missile launches had been detected and warheads were inbound towards the USSR. The next day, it would be discovered that faulty software had mistaken sunrise reflections for launches and the alarm was a mistake, but at the moment it was all klaxxons and impending doom for Stan.
With the KGB breathing down his back and the fate of the world on the line, Stan went with his gut and decided that it was a false alarm. He was "extensively interviewed" by the KGB afterwards, but was never punished -- now, he lives in a small village, secure in the knowledge that his instincts saved a good chunk of civilization.
We salute you, Stan. Thanks! (Also, thanks to squorch and MetaFilter for the links.)
Tags: wwiiii stanislavpetrov lucky mefi nukes
September 26, 2005 09:02 PM
A brief discussion in #diplomacy segued into a gripe-fest about watching television and movies with bad viewers. What constitutes a bad viewer? Is it someone who demands comprehensive spoilers before watching Episode 1? Someone who requires running commentary to keep up with basic developments? Someone who watches mysteries, but demands to know whodunnit?
Weigh in. Tell your horror story.
Tags: movies television peeves
September 26, 2005 06:56 PM
Heat a large skillet over medium high heat. Add 1 tbsp olive oil and meat to the pan. Spread the meat around the pan and begin to break it up. Combine brown sugar and steak seasoning. Add sugar and spice mixture to the skillet and combine. When the meat has browned, add onion and red peppers to the skillet. Reduce heat to medium and cook onions, peppers, red wine vinegar and Worcestershire sauce with meat for 5 minutes. Add tomato sauce and paste to pan. Stir to combine. Reduce heat to simmer and cook Sloppy Joe mixture 5 minutes longer. Using a large spoon or ice cream scoop, pile sloppy meat onto toasted, buttered bun bottoms and cover with bun tops. Serve with your favorite sides or sliced tomatoes seasoned with salt and pepper, dill pickles and Deviled Potato Salad.
Tags: sloppyjoes groundbeef
September 26, 2005 04:49 PM
Check out X-Men Legends for Xbox or PS2 if you get a chance. After the release of its sequel this month, it's only $20 at Wal-Mart. The graphics are different and refreshing. The gameplay is flawless, and the premise is fantastic. Check it out if you've got the time and money.
by B-Don at September 26, 2005 03:50 PM
USC goes down 13-love and proceeds to rip off 45 unanswered to win 45-13. Way to keep 'em down, Oregon. That's what you get for choosing a duck as your mascot.
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>The Techs' game begins by looking like a blowout. It ended the same way.
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>Florida scored 49 before halftime in Lexington. They come out in the second half playing all white guys. Final score: 49-28.
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>Ohio State goes crazy on Iowa 31-6. My pick for the national title (IU) is probably even more dead than it was before.
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>Georgia does a lot of things against Miss. State. Impress is not one of those things.
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>Colorado kicks a field goal late in the fourth quarter of a 13-0 against Miami seemingly to avoid the donut. They lose 23-3.
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>Michigan St. is in week 4 of the annual "Michigan St. might be for real" period. They Zook Illinois 189-14.
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>Minnesota beats Purdue 42-35 in OT in one of the most enjoyable games I've seen all year.
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>Alabama looks about as into their game against Arkansas as Joey Porter at a fund-raiser. They win 24-13.
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>Michigan takes care of business against Wisconsin. Oh wait, no they didn't. Wisconsin beats Michigan, and the most overrated program in history falls to 2-2 and finally out of the rankings.
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What I listened to during games: "Mercenary" by Bolt Thrower.
by B-Don at September 26, 2005 03:45 PM
Apparently in the wake of Katrina, the US Navy may be missing some attack-trained dolphins.
Remind me not to wear a wetsuit and go diving in the gulf anytime soon.
September 26, 2005 05:32 AM
September 25, 2005
...Steelers tie the game at 20 with about a minute and a half to go. Just made the fatal mistake, the cardinal sin, when playing against Tom Brady: never give him a chance to win the game. First play of the final "drive" goes for 11 yards. The outcome is already determined. Pretty long field goal by Vinatieri a no-doubter. Brady tosses up a 12-for-12 fourth quarter. Ben Roethlisberger completes about 40% of his passes for the game. 23-20 Pats. The injured list grows. So does the Legend of Tom Brady ...
by B-Don at September 25, 2005 11:56 PM
September 24, 2005
One of my new favorite bands: Bolt Thrower. I don't know if that requires hyphenation or what not, but these guys wail. I got 1998's Mercenary off eBay for a total of $5 with shipping and everything. Best five bucks I've ever spent. If you see an album from these guys somewhere, buy it. 'Tis pure and it is good.
by B-Don at September 24, 2005 09:23 PM
September 23, 2005
Via Conrad, a spot-on essay from ZenArchery.com.
Meanwhile, most of the people with any genuine opportunity or ability to effect global change are too busy patting each other on the back at conventions and blue-skying goofy social networking tools that are essentially useless to 95% of the world’s population, who live within fifteen feet of everyone they’ve ever known and have no need to track their fuck buddies with GPS systems.
I couldn't have said it better myself. Even forward-looking folks like the guys at WorldChanging tend to get sidetracked on cool shiny ecotech. There's nothing bad about it, but a lot of it focuses on allowing us to maintain a high standard of living -- not lifting others up.
Tags: ethics tech futurism
September 23, 2005 09:50 PM
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"We haven't played a meaningful game in 3 months! Of course we can turn it on for the playoffs!"